Tragicomical

For once, Lindsay Lohan decided to stay in on a Saturday night (alert the media!!!) and instead of drinking drugging “hanging out”, unemployed actress Lindsay Lohan and Perez Hilton had themselves a bit of a Twitter war.

Let me give you the tl;dr version of events. She called him fat, lazy, unoriginal and said that he looks like an oompa loompa. He said she predicted her own future by being out of work and called her out for being a drug addled mess.

The crazy thing is that they’re both right. He’s a fat, lazy untalented jerkoff who just wants hits for his website. She’s an unemployed attention seeker who has a serious problem and needs help.

Craziness.

Jessica Simpson said on Twitter that she was cleaning out some of her stuff and found this funky hat. She tweeted, “Cleaning out my closets…20 boxes of NO’s so far. Really? I bought this? My lord!! Hahaha”

Go through more stuff and take more pictures, I have all the time in the world. Well, we’re waiting…

Katy Perry posted this on her Twitter page just a bit ago. I guess it’s symbolism for her not being knocked up?

There goes all of those potential Rusty Rockets babies. Gross. Why would she post that?]

And who is she going to offend this time?

Katy Perry thinks of the funniest stuff to tweet about. Just today, she tweeted a photo with this caption, “Oh no my poor pussy, what have I done?”

Lordy lordy. Some people just crave the attention, don’t they?

Paris Hilton is rattled by the death of her childhood friend, Casey Johnson.

She took to her Twitter to say:

In bed crying, looking at baby pictures of Casey, Nicky and I. I feel so upset. I feel like I’ve lost a sister. My heart is broken. Miss her

Afterward, she tweeted the above photo and said, “God has another Angel by his side. Casey, we all Love and Miss you and know that you are in a better place. R.I.P.”

Tila Tequila wants privacy, y’all.

Just after the reported death of Tila’s reported fiancee, Casey Johnson, Tila tweeted about her loss. Then, tweeted and tweeted some more.

She wants her privacy, for sure. That’s famewhore for ATTENTION ON ME!!!!

Ashley Tisdale has started the new year out with a new hairstyle. She tweeted the above photo and said, “yay!!! its my own hair!! no more extensions this new year.”

What do you think of her new hairstyle? I like it.

Jessica Simpson started of the New Year showing off her goodies.

She said this, “Can name this leaf?”, which in English, I guess she wants us to figure out if there’s a leaf in the picture?

Paris Hilton is in Aspen, Colorado with her boyfriend Doug Reinhardt for New Year’s skiing. She just tweeted this snow bunny photo.

She’s already said that she’s spending the holidays with her family, instead of doing the usual and going to Hawaii.

In addition to her previous tweet, Lindsay Lohan also tweeted this photo along with saying, “Peace and Love Mates”.

So skinny, but the bikini is cute!

Lindsay Lohan is sending us all some nice, warm holiday wishes as we creep into the New Year. While traveling, the actress tweeted this photo.

She said, “Sending love, peace, and prosperity to all ;)”

Thanks Lindsay! And we’ll see your trainwreck of a self more in 2010, we’re sure.

Katy Perry was most recently spotted with boyfriend Russell Brand in front of the Taj Mahal. Just today, the singer tweeted a photo of a her arm covered with a henna tattoo.

She said, “I’m typing this with one hand… Isn’t it lovely? It’s Henna!”

It’s pretty. Don’t you think?

Kim Kardashian has done a lot of things to her hair, but in showing this photo of herself, I’m left with only one thought: Why isn’t this followed up by a tweet for L’Oreal?!??

She said, “I miss my blonde hair! Here’s a shot from my double 2011 calendar! One blonde-one brunette !!!”

Michael Lohan has taken to threatening legal action against people, so why should his ex-fiancee’s father be any different?

Apparently Erin Muller’s father did something to pee in Mike’s Wheeties, because he said this on his Twitter earlier today:

The statement & documents I released were only the beginning. If Erin’s father wants to continue the FBI will know about his insurance scams

recording contract, BMW X5, lts of gifts and cash all waiting! When you listen to the wrong people, it all goes to waste! When will we learn

I live up to my promises, while others serve themselves and try to control people for the wrong reasons

He also said he was contacting his attorney over someone claiming to be Erin on Twitter:

@ErinPMuller i know this is not Erin. i am contacting my attorney and u are next 2 be prosecuted just like the fake “TheMichaelLohan”

The fake Erin’s account has since been deleted, as well as having the fake Michael Lohan’s account suspended.

When Korean Tom Cruise tweeted “Why does every irish pub have an acoustic guitar playing hack on saturday nights?”, it appears that he offended a well known guitar player.

John Mayer took to his Twitter page to say:

“I’m doing my best, asshole. RT @koreantomcruise Why does every irish pub have an acoustic guitar playing hack on saturday nights?”

If the shoe fits!