Tragicomical

For once, Lindsay Lohan decided to stay in on a Saturday night (alert the media!!!) and instead of drinking drugging “hanging out”, unemployed actress Lindsay Lohan and Perez Hilton had themselves a bit of a Twitter war.

Let me give you the tl;dr version of events. She called him fat, lazy, unoriginal and said that he looks like an oompa loompa. He said she predicted her own future by being out of work and called her out for being a drug addled mess.

The crazy thing is that they’re both right. He’s a fat, lazy untalented jerkoff who just wants hits for his website. She’s an unemployed attention seeker who has a serious problem and needs help.

Craziness.

According to Perez Hilton, John Malkovich has been tapped for the role as a villain in the upcoming “Spiderman 4″ movie. The only problem is, “Spiderman 4″ isn’t being made.

It was announced at 2:13 PM today by Nikki Finke that the studio is scrapping plans for the release of the movie, at all. Hilton, not being known for his steadfast reporting, told us this at 5:22 PM:

Spiderman 4 will feature the villainous Vulture to be played by the one and only, John Malkovich. The character is elderly, winged and evil. A perfect fit for the veteran actor!

Someone needs to go back to elementary school and learn to read. Or maybe just quote reliable sources for your news. Dummy.

Perez Hilton has just posted his new animated series, “Assisted Living” and it was very hard to watch. He labels it “absurdly funny and smart”, but he could’ve just stopped with absurd.

Check it out if you have three minutes that you’ll want back:

Much like his New Year’s Eve outfit, I hope he kept the receipt. 2010 is not looking good for one blogger!

Celebrity blogger Perez Hilton sucked air into the New Year this year looking pretty tragic and comical, all at the same time. He grabbed his crotched while wearing this awful mess of an outfit.

So, we’ve taken the liberty of Perez’ing up his picture. This year is going to be fun.

Enjoy!