If you’re reading this, it’s because you’re hoping we’re not being douches. Well rest assured we are not trying to do stupid shit like install malware or sell your email address to penis enlargement advertising (PEnA). Our goal is to enable your lively participation while making you accountable enough to not be a dick-face who just posts FIRST COMMENT in every new story. For this reason we need to track shit like your IP address and maybe make people register accounts to keep out Interweb garbage from spamming up the site. We can do better if we all work together.

We “get it” on how much your privacy matters. Finger-quotes. GET IT? Oh never mind. The only anonymous data we collect is for statistical purposes to see how far our content is reaching. Any IP address or other identifying data is aggregated and disposed of after 30 days because we simply don’t need it (and it takes up valuable database space when dealing with lots of comments and page-views. Comment data is tied to your email address and/or user name, but we try not to expose anything personal there either unless you display it yourself. Any links that we post that have NSFW (not safe for work, derp) will be labeled as such so that your boss doesn’t catch you jerkin’ when you should be workin’. Okay that was a bit much, but whatever.

I know that our advertisers will be using all sorts of tracking cookies to know what to sell you, but honestly we have to fund this site’s hosting bills and programmer’s coke habit somehow, so it’s a necessary evil. Please don’t ad-block us if you use the site a lot, we promise not to ever have obnoxious ads that suck, only ads for stuff you are actually interested in (okay maybe not), and will be tastefully presented and never annoying. We promise!