Tonight is an all new episode of the ABC comedy Suburgatory and we’ll be covering the show live!
From the official synopsis of tonight’s episode, titled, Don’t Call Me Shirley:
The theft of Sheila’s Shirley Temple doll collection sparks fears of a neighborhood crime wave, but Tessa’s elation at such a gritty development in the suburbs is tempered when Dallas and Dalia are so scared of being robbed that they move into her house.
The show opens with Tessa and George eating breakfast at the table. Tessa hears sirens and goes outside to see what’s going on. Apparently, someone has stolen Sheila’s Shirley Temple doll collection. Lisa is super excited about the doll theft, calling it the most exciting thing that’s happened around there.
George is having lunch with Noah, talking about the doll theft. Noah tells George that he should be capitalizing on the theft. He says he’s an architect and Noah tells him about panic rooms. They are joined by Dallas, who wants a panic room. She’s not having lunch because she doesn’t eat in public.
Back at the school, Tessa is eating lunch. Mr. Wolfe makes an announcement about the doll theft and crime. He calls Lisa a victim. Dalia takes the microphone and says that it’s obvious who committed the crime. She said that the crimes started when “certain people” moved there from New York.
George and Tessa are heating up a pizza and she’s telling him that this place is stupid and they should move back to New York. Dalia shows up at her door with Dallas and they’re carrying their bags with them. Are they moving in?
Dallas is talking more about having a panic room and she feels safe there. Dalia says it feels sticky and claustrophobic there. Tessa is complaining that they’re there. Dallas comes in and interrupts them and says that Dalia spit up a little bit from her claustrophobia.
Dallas has set the table and has fresh roses in a vase, along with some of their fine dishes. Dallas is praying that they burn the meal off swiftly. The door bell rings and Dallas tells Tessa that they don’t answer the door during dinner. That is, unless the person rings twice and that means that it’s urgent OR a package — or an urgent package. Dallas snaps at George for starting to eat while Tessa is away from the table.
Sheila is at the door, telling them to check out eBay for any of the missing dolls. She’s wearing a t-shirt with a picture of the dolls and a phone number on it.
Dalia is complaining about the size of Tessa’s room. She calls Tessa’s “drug store makeup” tragic. She said that tragic is loading yourself up with so much makeup that you can’t blink.
Dallas is unpacking her stuff and shows George the corn on her toe. She has already moved his stuff and put her stuff in its place. She suggests that he get underwear like the soccer players wear. He snaps at her about everything, including her corn.
Dalia is talking while she’s asleep and Tessa hears noises downstairs. She goes down to investigate with a baseball bat and lurks. Her dad sneaks up behind her and he’s got a rod. He tells her to go back upstairs and he’ll take care of this, She doesn’t listen and they switch weapons.
They go into the laundry room and find Dallas in there, eating a ham and cheese sandwich. She’s eating because she feels guilty for showing up at his door. She shares her sandwich with him.
The next morning, Dalia says that she hates ugly goodbyes, so she says, “Goodbye, ugly.” George and Dallas are getting along nicely and planning another get together the following weekend.
Tessa approaches Dalia at school and tells her that she doesn’t want to spend time with her. Dalia asks her if she’s going to fake a pregnancy. Noah and George are talking again about the panic room idea. Noah has apparently put the word out about the idea.
At school, Lisa is wearing the missing dolls t-shirt. Dalia is accusing Tessa of stealing Sheila’s dolls. Mr. Wolfe approaches the girls and Dalia is telling him that she confessed in her sleep. George comes to the school and says that it’s a mistake. Mr. Wolfe says that Tessa confessed to the crime. Tessa says that she’s bored and she doesn’t know why she did it. She suggests that they move back to New York where they belong. Mr. Wolfe is basically useless.
George is driving Tessa home and he suggests that they pick up a change of address form. They head to Sheila’s house, where she’s shrink-wrapping doll clothes. She plans on giving them to another collector or someone with a pet monkey. George says that Tessa has something to tell her. Tessa admits to her that she stole the dolls. Sheila apologizes for doing anything wicked to her to make her steal the dolls. As it turns out, Lisa has the stolen dolls.
George tells Tessa that there’s zero chance that they’re moving back to New York. She’s telling him that she deserves to be punished and shouldn’t have to go to the Chowder Festival.
What did you think of tonight’s episode of the show? Are you a Suburgatory fan? Sound off in the comments below and let us know what you think!
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