Tragicomical

Just yesterday, Hugh Hefner announced that the Shannon Twins would be vacating the Playboy mansion to do work as Playmates.

But sources inside the mansion say that the two weren’t sexing up Hef and that they were just sleeping around. Ooh, shocker!

The snitch said, “It was not a secret the twins were sleeping around” while living under Hef’s roof. From what I heard, the twins were not sleeping with Hef. And Hef didn’t really seem to care. He would let them get away with murder. They did whatever they wanted.”

Who’d want to bang an 83-year-old dude anyways? The snitch answers with, “You have to consider that these girls are only 20 years old. The twins were there for the ride. They just care about themselves.”

Oh yeah, that’s right. They’re selfish. Who’d have thunk it?