Tragicomical

Halle Berry’s new perfume, “Pure Orchid” will be hitting the shelves in February. Here’s what her new ad for the fragrance looks like.

Weirdly enough, it looks just like her first bottle, only without the lavender color. “Pure Orchid” will start at $17.00 for a .5-oz. bottle.

According to sources, Jon Cryer’s ex-wife may have threatened the actor on the set of “Two And A Half Men.”

Imagine that, violence and drama that doesn’t involve Charlie Sheen.

TMZ reports:

Security has flooded the set of “Two and a Half Men” after a threat was made against Jon Cryer.

Sources connected with the show tell us the threat was “significant.” We’re also told it involves the turbulent divorce with Jon’s ex-wife.

Sources tell us the taping will now go on, but because of security concerns, there will be no audience tonight.

Trigger’s mouthpiece said, “There’s no reason in the world why Sarah would do anything like that.”

Despite canceling her concert date at Purdue University yesterday, Lady Gaga still went on “The Oprah Winfrey Show”.

In the photo, you can see that Gaga gifted the talk show host with a bow of her very own. But the real question is, what is going on with Lady Gaga’s hair? Seriously, did a porcupine die on her head???

Paris Hilton was on her way into the dentist yesterday in Beverly Hills, when she was snapped toking on something that looked like a cigarette — or was it?

Rumors are ablaze that she’s a heavy pot smoker, so it wouldn’t surprise me if this is a doobie she’s puffing on. Are you surprised?

Britney Spears’ 18-year-old sister Jamie Lynn was trying to get in a bar, incognito, y’all.

On Christmas day, Jamie Lynn got into Atlas Bar wearing this getup. A snitch said that she got carded at the door and the bouncer ratted her out, telling everyone who she was.

The snitch said, “She had a friend who was over 21 buy her shots and drinks.”

Stay classy, Jamie Lynn. And if you were wondering where her babydaddy was, someone’s gotta babysit.

If you were wondering “Whatchutalkin’boutWillis?” Gary Coleman is packin’, I can tell ya, it’s bigger than he is.

After the jump, for the goodies (continue reading…)

Lindsay Lohan really wanted to start the new year off on the right foot and we can’t think of any other way than releasing a sex tape.

She’s already made a four-day trip to India to talk about child trafficking, so there’s her humanitarian work for the decade. Now let’s talk the boobs.

A source said, “The video film is dynamite. It is pretty seedy and shows Lindsay engaged in a particular sex act which, obviously should remain behind closed doors. Lindsay was desperate to start 2010 off on a good footing and this is the very last thing she needs. If and when it is released on the internet, via a spurious, unofficial website, there is absolutely nothing she or her lawyers can do about it.”

I bet her dad is chomping at the bit to see this. Hold your horses, Mike.

This photo is hot, I don’t care what you say. Jesus Luz blabbed on and on to Interview magazine about some shit, but do we care? NO. Why? Because I’m too busy looking at his pic. Nom nom nom.

He’s only popular because he’s sexin’ up Madonna. He’s pretty, though.

Another photo has been leaked of Heidi Montag’s “People” shoot, showing more of what she’s had done.

She was pretty enough before, but those BOOBS! They’re ginormous. What on Earth is she doing to herself. She’s only 23. Good grief, I guess she wants to look more and more like a blowup doll everyday.

And guess what? She’s not done!

Katy Perry posted this on her Twitter page just a bit ago. I guess it’s symbolism for her not being knocked up?

There goes all of those potential Rusty Rockets babies. Gross. Why would she post that?]

And who is she going to offend this time?

Heidi Montag is morphing before our very eyes. She graces the cover of “People” magazine to show off her less horsey-looking chin, her ginormous boobs, and whatever else she’s had done.

She released her crap debut album yesterday, “Superficial” and now she’s showing us just how superficial she really is.

And you know what? She’s not even done yet.

“For the past three years, I’ve thought about what to have done,” the reality star tells PEOPLE. “I’m beyond obsessed.”

And so, on Nov. 20, Montag’s total transformation began. Keeping even her family in the dark, the starlet chronicled every painful moment of recovery and her journey to become “the best me.”

How many times has Joan Rivers said that she wasn’t done?

James Cameron is really making bank off of the “Avatar” movie, but don’t expect its video game counterpart to do so well.

Game maker Ubisoft said, ” . . . .not all of the Company’s games have reaped the full benefits of the measures implemented, with James Cameron’s Avatar: The Game . . . reporting lower-than-expected sales.”

Duh. Everyone knows that when a movie is so awesome, the game is going to suck.

OK! Magazine wrote a piece titled, “Snooki’s Appearance Price Rises with Each Punch”, so it only means that for her benefit, people should continue punching her in her piehole?

Snooki was reportedly charging an appearance fee of $2,000, but after she got hit in the face by the school teacher dude, it skryocketed to $10,000. So one can only assume that Snooki should get assaulted more so that she can charge Paris Hilton rates, right?

Note: Tragicomical.com does not condone violence. PSA: Please don’t punch Snooki.

This little midget troll has flipped her lid!

Apparently, Tila Tequila seeking custody of Casey Johnson’s daughter, Ava, because she says that Casey would have wanted it that way.

The Johnson family dispatched Bijou Phillips and Nicky Hilton to retrieve Casey’s dogs right after her untimely death, yet she thinks a court of law is going to grant her the kid?!?? I want some of whatever she’s smokin’.

She can’t be trusted with dogs, let alone a human life. I can just see her now, with Ava, posing in a tree for the paparazzi.

Just yesterday, Hugh Hefner announced that the Shannon Twins would be vacating the Playboy mansion to do work as Playmates.

But sources inside the mansion say that the two weren’t sexing up Hef and that they were just sleeping around. Ooh, shocker!

The snitch said, “It was not a secret the twins were sleeping around” while living under Hef’s roof. From what I heard, the twins were not sleeping with Hef. And Hef didn’t really seem to care. He would let them get away with murder. They did whatever they wanted.”

Who’d want to bang an 83-year-old dude anyways? The snitch answers with, “You have to consider that these girls are only 20 years old. The twins were there for the ride. They just care about themselves.”

Oh yeah, that’s right. They’re selfish. Who’d have thunk it?

Katy Perry thinks of the funniest stuff to tweet about. Just today, she tweeted a photo with this caption, “Oh no my poor pussy, what have I done?”

Lordy lordy. Some people just crave the attention, don’t they?