Tragicomical

Paris Hilton is in Aspen, Colorado with her boyfriend Doug Reinhardt for New Year’s skiing. She just tweeted this snow bunny photo.

She’s already said that she’s spending the holidays with her family, instead of doing the usual and going to Hawaii.

Lady Gaga was showing off her new yellow hair on the balcony of the Fontainebleau Hotel, but that’s not all she was flashing. This woman has literally no shame.

She gets a pass, though, because I love her music.

In addition to her previous tweet, Lindsay Lohan also tweeted this photo along with saying, “Peace and Love Mates”.

So skinny, but the bikini is cute!

Lindsay Lohan is sending us all some nice, warm holiday wishes as we creep into the New Year. While traveling, the actress tweeted this photo.

She said, “Sending love, peace, and prosperity to all ;)”

Thanks Lindsay! And we’ll see your trainwreck of a self more in 2010, we’re sure.

Katy Perry was most recently spotted with boyfriend Russell Brand in front of the Taj Mahal. Just today, the singer tweeted a photo of a her arm covered with a henna tattoo.

She said, “I’m typing this with one hand… Isn’t it lovely? It’s Henna!”

It’s pretty. Don’t you think?

Kim Kardashian has done a lot of things to her hair, but in showing this photo of herself, I’m left with only one thought: Why isn’t this followed up by a tweet for L’Oreal?!??

She said, “I miss my blonde hair! Here’s a shot from my double 2011 calendar! One blonde-one brunette !!!”

Political commentator Rush Limbaugh was rushed to a hospital after complaining of chest pains, earlier Wednesday afternoon. Even though we believe that this misery profiteer is not a very nice person, we shall remain mum on speaking such ill things about him while he’s being treated for his ailments.

The 911 call to paramedics came in at 2:41PM HST and EMTs took Rush to Queen’s Medical Center in serious condition. He was spotted enjoying golf earlier at the Hawaiian resort he was staying at.

We are unsure as to his condition at this time, but we’ll keep you posted as soon as we hear something concrete. Let’s hope he escapes the 2009 celebrity death curse.

Stay tuned…

Update via the AP, “Limbaugh resting comfortably in Honolulu hospital, show staff say.”

Brooke Hogan and her soon-to-be stepmother Jennifer McDaniel were sunbathing in Florida recently. It’s gross how much they look alike.

Disgusting, even. I bet Hulk Hogan digs this trashiness.

Can you spot the Brooke and the Brooke-alike?

Yes, someone famous is actually proud of this wonderful work of art. By “someone famous”, I mean that she gets fired from revamped TV shows. And by “wonderful work of art”, I mean garbage.

She tweeted about it happily, saying, “miss painting on our balcony..express your self hay hay hay hay”.

Any guesses? The answer, after the jump! (continue reading…)

If you really want to see how the Na’vi have sex, then you may be in for a treat. If you haven’t made it to see “Avatar” yet, then you are seriously missing out. The movie is great for special effects and lots of action sequences.

And speaking of action, the main character, Jake Sully, is seen getting it on with the Na’vi girl Ney’tiri. They had to cut out some of the sex goodies, like how the form their halo. To ensure their PG-13 rating, the director dropped the naked Na’vi scenes.

James Cameron said, “We had it in and we cut it out. So that will be something for the special edition DVD, if you want to see how they have sex.”

Woot. Avatar sex. I can’t wait!

Heiress and resident L.A. airhead Paris Hilton was photographed for her new reality show, “I Get That Alot”. She was acting the part of a nerdy looking gas station attendant, while washing the cars.

I guess the premise of this dumb new reality fart is to have people saying to her, “My God! You look just like Paris Hilton!” ZOMG YOU GUYS!

How original. They have officially run out of ideas.

Cackling nine-year-old Noah Cyrus was on UStream tonight, listening to tunes and bopping around with this dude, whose name escapes me at the moment.

It’s 5AM here, so it has to be at least 2 or 3 in the morning where they’re at. Where’s her parents? My kids are much older than she and they’ve been snoozing for hours!

The duo gave shoutouts to some of those who joined in the chat and played Justin Bieber’s song, “One Time”, along with some Demi Lovato and then some depressing music.

Where are this kid’s PARENTS?!?!?? Seriously, she’s NINE!

They signed off with this note, “4:55 missnoiecyrus: we will we be back my peeps we r going to make a video and post it brb.”

Just a few weeks back, this blind item was all over the internet. Gee, I wonder this could be??

This Hollywood bad boy had supposedly cleaned up his act.

However, his wife has been consulting very quietly with a prominent divorce attorney, and has also been asking a lot of questions around town about their stock portfolio and bank accounts.
We’ve heard it’s because her husband’s former bouts with both substance abuse and the kind of sex that requires a fat bank account have made comeback. While he is working and he still has the fat bank account, he has lost his grip on both fidelity and sobriety.

His wife has had enough, and has her foot halfway out the door. Dude, you’d better get your act together before she takes you to the cleaners, because your PR people are going to have a tough time spinning you out of this one. The girl may be pretty, but – in case it hasn’t dawned on you yet – she sure isn’t dumb.

Charlie Sheen and Chris Brown need to do a duet.

Daughter of former Alaskan Governor Sarah Palin, Bristol, has just ignited a custody war over baby Tripp. She’s said that she is fighting for full custody of her and Levi Johnston’s son.

She requested that the proceedings would be closed, but that was denied on Christmas Eve, thus making the news public today.

She is seeking sole custody and child support, but wants to allow him a visitation schedule. Levi has denied that he’s dodging daddy duty and is seeking shared custody.

John Mayer emerged from a nightclub carrying Samantha Ronson in his arms. He set her down and made an oral sex comment. WEIRD.

Since Lindsay Lohan has already moved on from Sam, do you think John Mayer is trying to help make her jealous?

Watch: (FYI, language is NSFW):

Too funny.

Via The Superficial

Meg Ryan was spotted in the water in Hawaii, soaking up the sun, looking much older than she is. It’s a shame, too, because she’s such a good actress and I really like her.

But on the beach, her lips looked like they outweighed her entire body and she looked so gaunt. And she’s only 48! Someone needs to hold her down and force a cheeseburger down her throat. Afterward, we can use a stickpin to deflate those lips.