Tragicomical

As if you didn’t already think Lady Gaga was weird enough, then here’s some news for you.  Apparently, the “Bad Romance” singer is planning something interesting for her Monster Ball Tour.

At the beginning of her shows, she plans on hatching from an egg and will show the evolution of her character from the beginning.

Maybe this will be the start of seeing Lady Gaga as herself, without all of the makeup and pomp and circumstance. 

I do love her music, though, and will continue to support her as an artist, no matter how weird it gets. 

Of her tour plans, she said, “I actually hatch out of an egg in the show. That’s the beginning of the show. It’s kind of the beginning of evolution. I begin as a cell.  The show is based on this theme of evolution, which has a lot to do with how I’ve changed over the years, and in a symbolic way of describing myself as a person, as Gaga.”

Interesting indeed.

According to reports, we may just see another Men In BlackTommy Lee Jones and Will Smith. movie.  I can’t wait!  I loved the first two, I’m just hoping that they bring back

Movie execs are signing up the screenwriter who did Tropic Thunder for the task of drafting a script for a third movie in the franchise. 

I hope they bring back all of the original people for this one and do it up right.

But I must say that Hollywood is almost all out of ideas.

Jessica Simpson, God love her, seems to be trying so hard to convince all of us that she’s not this vapid creature. 

As much as I used to like her music and feel that she’s picked on A LOT, I think she doth protest too much.

I would be more likely to believe she was an intellectual being had she opted to enroll in some sort of post-secondary education.  Having seen her MTV show, Newlyweds once, I was convinced that she isn’t too bright.

I’m not trying to be rotten here, like I’ve said, I was a fan of her pop music.  Now that she’s on the market again, Jessica is telling everyone what she wants in a man….and one of those things is someone who is an intellectual. 

My first thought was, “Why? So he could explain the punchlines to jokes to you?”

All of this, even after her public relationship with John Mayer….How intellectual is he really? 

Who would be the perfect guy for Jess?  What do you think?

Paris Hilton thinks her music is so awesome that she is considering going on a world tour. 

According to sources, the heiress just might please the whole 3,000 people who purchased her first album, by going on a world tour.

She’s currently working on her sophomore effort and said that it could lead to her first ever tour.

Would you ever pay to hear her sing?

I wouldn’t waste my hard earned money on her, it’s a tough economy, and there are far better musical acts to see.

Some Helpful Banana sent me this news, so I thought I would share :)

Chris Brown needs surgery to have his jaw wired shut and his hands broken so he can’t continue to type his douchiness via Twitter, because this has gone on long enough.

Chris came out with a couple of new songs and his fans are going on hardcore about how DOPE he is, etc, etc. 

I JUST CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE! (that was a “womantrum”™)

Obviously Chris still thinks we care that he has a musical career and tweeted this:

OFFICIAL ALBUM DATE: DECEMBER 15… GRAFFITI… NOW BLOG ABOUT THIS..LOL

Not interested, Chris.  Sorry, but you officially suck. 

Even more recently, he’s going on and on about parties that he’s going to and all that jazz.  Can we have his Twitter account suspended so he won’t infect the planet with his stupidity?

Rumor has it that there’s a Michael Jackson autopsy photo making it’s way around Los Angeles.

Just a day after his final curtain call, “This Is It” made its premiere, there’s someone passing around a photo of Michael, after he passed away.

There’s no glitz and glamour for his memory there, why don’t people just leave him alone already and let him rest in peace.

According to a source who has seen the photo, they’ve said that the quality is too good to be just a cell phone photo.

Of those who have seen the photo, here is their description:

It is of Jackson, his eyes wide open, lying on his back on a metal autopsy table. The picture is of Jackson’s head only, and taken from the corpse’s left side, from someone who was standing, and at about a 30-degree angle toward the body. The front of the pop star’s skull is shaved. His ashen face is stripped of any makeup. The lips are flat and wide, but without lipstick. A scar, which he had hidden under makeup whenever he went out, is visible on his left check. His tattooed eyebrows are the only other visible mark on his face.

I would not want to see that and wouldn’t want this shared with anyone if he were part of my family.  It’s gross, humiliating, and it takes away from all of the goodness he brought to the world with his music.

After Nadya Suleman said that she thought Jon Gosselin was hot, it was rumored that the two of them would be doing a reality show together.

Fueling the fire, a former producer of “Cheaters” came forward and said that the reality show would come to fruition where the two parents of multiples would actually date. 

Not so, says his mouthpiece:

Gosselin’s lawyer Michael Heller that the report is bogus, and that there’s no special show in the works. Could you even imagine the insanity of the two parents and their cumulative 22 children running around? It would be too much even for reality television.

I guess we can thank God for small favors, right?

Besides that, who would want to watch that trainwreck???  Not I, that’s for sure.

While her brother is prancing around as Jon Gosselin, Stephanie Pratt was formally charged with DUI yesterday.

It was said that she could face up to six months in the slammer as well as a fine of $1,000, if convicted of the charge against her.

She had a blood alcohol level of .08 on the first try, which is the legal limit.  But after a second blow, she blew a .09.

I think she has enough celebrity status to get her about 45 minutes in jail.

I wish she and her brother would just fade away by now. 

The DUI incident occured on October 18th, so I have to wonder why it took them so long to charge her.

A stripper named Nicole Forrester, who works at Atlanta stripjoint Tattletales is claiming that she had a night of passion with Josh Duhamel.

Before passing her story off to the National Enquirer (ie: selling it), she was said to have passed a lie detector test.

He told her that he was there working on a porn film, then took her back to his hotel room, where they did the horizontal mambo until the morning.

She says he was “the best lover” she ever had.

His rep said, “This is not the first nor will it be the last time that a stripper was paid a large amount of money to sell a false story about a celebrity.”

I wonder what Fergie thinks about this….A stripper got to win more than a date with Tad Hamilton.  Nice.  Stay classy, Josh.

Even though Jon and Kate Gosselin are no longer being “themselves”, Spencer PrattHeidi Montag opted for costumes of them for Halloween. and

That’s just so cheesy, he doesn’t even resemble the Ed Hardy level of douchiness that Jon exhibits.

As far as Heidi’s costume, the hair is begging for more porcupine.

I guess as Halloween draws closer, we’ll get to see how many more celebrities will try to one up each other.

This is only the beginning….

I think Speidi should have factored in the new girlfriend, Hailey.  That would’ve made things more exciting and realistic.  They could’ve given her a bong for a prop.

Last night’s episode of “Dancing With The Stars” left me a bit disappointed.

If you have not seen it yet, please stop reading now, there are spoilers ahead.

**********************************

I wasn’t surprised at who got voted to stay on the show, what surprised me more was who they voted off first.

Holy crap, Melissa Joan Hart and Mark Ballas weren’t that bad.  They eclipsed skater boy and his partner by a mile, yet they were still ousted without the benefit of a dance off.

Michael Irvin impressed me some, with his dance, but I surely thought Louie Vito was a goner, instantaneously, after dropping Chelsie on her butt on Monday night’s show.

I’m not surprised that Louie didn’t survive the dance off, but it just goes to show you, that no one was really safe last night.

I’m predicting Mya or Donny Osmond for the win.  What do you think?  Aaron Carter will hopefully cry his way off of the show next week.

According to Jon Gosselin’s girlfriend, Hailey Glassman, he has what she calls “mantrums”.  So cute that she’s making up new words, isn’t it?

In a new interview with The Insider, Hailey says that Jon has been more than emotionally abusive, saying that he’s taking everything out on her.

She said, “He’ll call me and take his anger out on me.  He has ‘mantrums’.  I shouldn’t have to put up with being emotionally abused.  I cry and say, ‘Why are you so mean to me?’”

So I ask myself, why would she put up with that??  It’s not like she has to, right?  She could walk away from him at any time and go back to living a normal life.

She said that he lies a lot, too, adding, “Sometimes he has trouble with the truth…and he will dance around his lies.  He’s like Jekyll and Hyde.   But I still love him.”

Yes, she still loves him, but he’s emotionally abusive enough for her to talk about it on TV?  Hmmm…

Yet she won’t leave him.  She added, “I don’t want to leave him all alone.  At the end of the day, I love him but I dislike him at times.  When I love someone I would never hurt them.”

This makes me physically ill.

This is Jocelyn Wildenstein, also known at the “Cat Lady”.  She is the one that we can credit for having Courtney Love walk away from any sort of plastic surgery.

Courtney came face to face with the plastic surgery lover and said that enough is enough.

She put it ever so classy, Court said, “I could do with another boob life, but no way.  I don’t want to end up looking like her.  She looked freaky.”

Jocelyn has been said to have spent over three million dollars on plastic surgery for her cat-like appearance.

I feel for Jocelyn, to be so rich and so unhappy with herself.  Can you believe she’s 63?

I also wonder how many lives she’s got left.  (I know, that was awful, but I have to say what we’re all thinking.)

Apparently Lindsay Lohan really wants to work hard to clean up her image.

She was recently spotted being followed around Paris by a camera crew….Now it’s been revealed that she is set to do a documentary on child trafficking. 

She said, “I’m going to India soon, actually, before Thanksgiving. And I’m doing a documentary for the BBC Network. It all happened actually when I was in Dubai. I like to support charities. I think it’s important to kind of have a voice when you can have one, and make a difference.”

She addedd, “It’s basically on the trafficking of children in Behar, India. So it’ll be starting soon. We’re just trying to work out the times and the dates. I’m a little nervous, but I’m excited to do something like that.”

Still doesn’t explain why the cameras were tailing her in Paris….unless she wanted to report on the malnourishment of the models on the runway at her fashion debut. 

Please, someone, hear my plea and toss one of those emaciated ladies a cheeseburger.

Sarah Palin wrote a book called “Going Rogue”, which is set to hit stores on November 17th.

It has just been revealed that the former Alaskan Governor received a hefty advance for the book, to the tune of $1.2 million.

It’s only a retainer and by law she had to disclose the information, because she received the advance money before she left her tenure in the Governor’s office.

As a private citizen, however, it’s not being disclosed as to how much the total amount she received for the book.

Will you be reading her memoir?  Or are you more interested in something by Levi Johnston?  Maybe his Playgirl piece, perhaps?

Corey Feldman is about to be a single man again, ladies!

Not such good news for him, though.  He married Susie Feldman (nee Sprague) in 2002, and they share a son together, Zen Scott Feldman.

She filed for divorce, citing irreconcilable differences.

She is seeking full custody of Zen, along with attorney’s fees and spousal support.

Poor Corey, I wonder what went wrong?

In other Feldman related news, he is leaving for South Africa soon to begin filming The Lost Boys 3: The Bite.  Of the movie, he said, “This is going to be a good one.  Very big budget compared to the last one and the director’s great.”

The director is Dario Piana, who is famous for directing “The deaths of Ian Stone” along with hundreds of commercials.