Tragicomical

Sarah Jessica Parker and Matthew Broderick have announced that they are having twins. 

The couple have a surrogate mother who plans on giving birth to the couple’s twins sometime this summer.

The surrogate mother’s name is still being kept secret, but we do know that she lives in Ohio somewhere.  SJP probably chose here (Oh-hiya) because she was born here.

When asked, Ferris Bueller said, “We’re very excited!”

And they’re having girls too!

I wonder what they’re going to name them.  Any guesses?

Image: Flickr / Source: OK! Magazine

Remember how I told you Hugh Jackman was a really generous guy?

Well, TMZ got ahold of the receipt and found out how much big daddy warbucks shucked out a whopping $4308.87 for the breakfast for 800 waiting Wolverine fans.

Nice!!

What a good guy! 

As a former waitress (many many moons ago) I have to wonder how much he tipped?

Image: TMZ

Kate Winslet was picked on and bullied while she was in school.  Kids called her fat and nicknamed her “Blubber”.

She says, “I was bullied for being chubby.  Where are they now!”

That’s right, Kate, where are they now?

Kate has appeared in some awesome films and she’s happy with her figure.  So what’s wrong with that?  Right?

It’s all about self acceptance.  If you can get that down, then you’re good to go.  I say good for her!  I’m with Kate on this one, WHERE ARE THEY NOW?

It just goes to show you that sometimes bullies who pick on you in school, don’t end up to the same heights that you reach in your own life.

Image: Flickr / Source: MSNBC

Even though it was reported on Tuesday that Hugh Hefner was seemingly holding a candle for ex-girlfriend Holly Madison, he says not so fast.

The Playboy mogul shuns the rumors and says that he’s got no plans to go running back to Holly anytime soon.

He says, “The notion that I would want her back as a girlfriend is bizarre. I am now in one of the best relationships in memory with Crystal Harris and the twins. I’m not going to screw it up with former girlfriends.”

He did say that he would invite Holly back into the mansion, just not as a girlfriend.

I thought they should be together, but I guess Hef is stuck on his new head bunny.

Image: Flickr / Source: Contact Music

Martha Stewart has settled a lawsuit with a hand model over a faulty chair from her furniture line.  Apparently the patio chair caused an accident and the hand model was unable to work.

The victim, Patrick Albanese, sued Martha, claiming that the chair severed the top of his index finger, after it got caught in the frame.

Doctors performed surgery to reattach the top of his finger, but the suit states that he has failed to fully recover from the injury and has lost wages as a result.

His attorney, Guy Cook, said that the suit has been settled “to his satisfaction”, but did not reveal specific details.

Martha knows that it’s all about the DETAILS!  What’s up with that?

Image: Flickr / Source: Contact Music

Sorry I had to go all fangirl crazy on that headline, but it seemed appropriate.  She’s 16, so it had to be done.

Miley Cyrus’ dad, Billy Ray trusts her an awful lot.  So much that he says that she usually makes the right choices in life.

He says, “I just trust her so much.  She’s got a great head on her shoulders and makes pretty good decisions most of the time and even has enough common sense that if she makes a bad one, she makes adjustments.”

He’s not over laying the fangirl positive-rant, either.

He continues, “She knows that what life is, it’s a day-by-day, step-by-step joutney; as she sings in the movie, it’s a climb, but the view is great.”

AND HE’S NOT DONE YET KISSING HER BUTT:

He adds, “I try to be a friend for Miley – I know that’s not every parent’s style but I try to be a friend to her and partner as an actor, a singer, and a songwriter, and just let her be a teenage girl and do her thing.”

Awww…does someone want a raise?

Image: Flickr / Source: Contact Music

Sam Lutfi was Britney Spears’ manager, and also the guy that her mother claimed was trying to drug her.

He was in court over a restraining order, to which Britney did receive (or Jamie Spears on her behalf) and has been ordered to stay away from the pop tard for three years.

Both Lutfi and Jon Eardly were ordered to stay at least 100 yards away from Britney, her kids, and her family members’s home.  He must not even try to contact her through the phone, via snail mail, or email.

His lawyer said that they “absolutely” plan to appeal the ruling and said, “Never before in history has a restraining order been issued against someone who answered another person’s cries for help.”

It’s just so hard to believe who’s telling the truth here.  If Britney would only speak up and tell someone ELSE that she’s unhappy, I would believe it.  You don’t really know for sure if she’s in trouble, or if he just wants to weasle his way back into her life and start controlling her finances again.  That kind of power over someone had to have him mesmerized.

Image: Flickr / Source: Contact Music

Mel Gibson debuted the woman who nabbed him away from his wife, Oksana Grigorieva, on the red carpet at the L.A. premiere of “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” last night.

For a minute there it looked like Octomom!

Do you think her lips are fake?

Image: GossipSucker

After fans in Tempe, Arizona won the opportunity to have the premiere of “X-Men Origins: Wolverine” movie hosted in their city, Hugh Jackman showed his support for his fans.

Fans camped out all night outside the Tempe Marketplace on Sunday, which was an entire day before Jackman was slated to arrive.

So he treated his loyal fans, by calling a local cafe and ordering a breakfast of coffee and pastries for 800 people.

Nice!

The bakery’s assistant manager, Arianna Arroyo says, “We were so surprised and amazed by the gesture, and I was thinking what a big challenge it would be to get everything done over.  They were thrilled and really excited because they didn’t expect something like that.  People had made posters, were screaming at the media and it was so awesome to see.  There are a lot of people waiting to just see him and it’s pretty amazing what is happening out there just for one man.”

Hugh just made some fans for life!!  Kudos to him for showing some love to his fanbase!!Image: Flickr / Source: Contact Music

Chris Brown’s lawyer, Mark Geragos, is asking the court in Los Angeles to dismiss the Rihanna beating case.  YES–YOU READ THAT RIGHT: DISMISS IT COMPLETELY.

You can file this right away in my WTF file. 

Apparently the high powered attorney thinks the case is compromised due to the leaked photo of Rihanna beaten up.  TMZ posted the photo after paying a whopping $62,000 for it. 

He said, “Leaks can form the basis for a motion to dismiss the case in regard to outrageous governmental misconduct.”

Whatever that means.

Are you buying this nonsense?  I’m not!

Image: Flickr / Source: TMZ

Yesterday, while taking a nice walk with dear old dad, Suri Cruise decided to make a break for it!

Cute!

She should’ve kept going!!

Get away from those Scientolonuts!

British funnyman Russell Brand is set to take over the role of the imaginary friend to Phoebe Cates’ character (in the original) in the Drop Dead Fred remake.

Is Hollywood all out of ideas?

From what I remember, that movie wasn’t too memorable at all.

But maybe Brand can breathe some new life into the part?

He was really good in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, even though I was more concentrated on Jason Segel’s vampire puppet show.

Think it will be worth watching this time around?

Image: Flickr / Source: Contact Music

Linda Hogan wants to move far, far away from her estranged hubby Hulk Hogan.

Just recently the wrestler said that he understood O.J. and what he did and said that he could’ve done like the former NFL star and cut everyone up and turned it into a total crime scene.

This has apparently scared the bejesus out of Linda.  She’s asking the Pinellas County courts for a bunch of cash from Hulk so that she can move to California to get away from him.

Yes, because of Hulk’s stupid comments, he’ll probably be forced to fund her cross country move. 

In the court documents, Linda claims that she feels she’s in “imminent danger of becoming a victim” and needs an additional $8,200 a month from Hulk so she can move “thousands of miles away” from him.

I think he should be made to pay for those crazy comments.  It sounded like a little bit of a threat to me.

What do you think?

Image: Flickr / Source: Contact Music

I’ll admit, I’ve watched the Girls Next Door more than a few times…it’s interesting to have seen how the other half lives.  And by other half, I mean the rich and somewhat trashy people.

Speaking of which, Holly Madison, the former bunny girlfriend in charge, moved out of the Playboy mansion last year.  For some reason, unbeknownst to me, she decided to move on from Hef to magician Criss Angel.  Can you say downgrade?  At least Hef seems like a nice guy, even though he’s old enough to be her grandpa.

Now, given that Holly and Criss have broken up, Hef says that he wants to give it another try with Holly.

They split after dating for seven years, but Hef says she’s “the love of his life.”  Awww.

I think at 29, she’s ready to settle down and get married, yadda, yadda.  She’s previously told Hef that she wanted a baby, but he said it wasn’t in the cards.

She’s already moved on, even though it’s not with anyone in particular, just yet.  She says, “I loved my time at the mansion and think the world of Hef.  There comes a time in everyone’s life where they need to go their own way.”

So that’s a no.

Image: Flickr / Source: Us Magazine

I didn’t think this blonde look was a good look for Kim Kardashian.  Did you?

What do you think of the color?

LOVE IT OR HATE IT?

Hated it!

She looked like she was trying too hard to look like the long lost cousin of J-Lo.

Your thoughts?

Image: GossipSucker

Nadya Suleman must be scouring the internets looking for possibly fictitious stories about herself in the media. 

Government money running low?

InTouchWeekly ran a story saying that they had evidence from a strip club owner saying that Suleman was a stripper who went by the name of Angelina. 

She’s suing the strip club owne, Gunner Reid, the owner of the Spearmint Rhino Club for falsely claiming that she stripped for a living between 1999 and 2000.

Not that there’s anything wrong with that, I imagine a girl’s gotta pay the bills.  And it beats what she’s doing now….leeching.

Oh noes, there might be another lawsuit.  I just called her a leech…Whatever shall I do?

Of the stripper story, she says, “Who are these humans?  There is not one ounce of truth to this.  I never, ever, ever, ever, EVER worked – even for one day – in a strip club!”

She added that her attorney is in the process of suing Reid.

The taxpayers oughtta sue her for the burden she’s placed on all of us.

Image: Flickr / Source: Us Magazine