Tragicomical

Kendra Wilkinson has already left the Playboy mansion after telling Hugh Hefner goodbye (in the season finale of the show, which airs on Sunday).

After breaking the news to Hef that she was seeing someone, Kendra left to film her own reality show as well as becoming engaged to Philadelphia Eagles football star, Hank Baskett.

They’re going to get married in a ceremony at the Playboy mansion and her brother is set to give her away, not Hef as previously thought. 

Of their next steps, she says, “We always talk about having kids.  He wants kids so badly and I do, too.”

She even has names picked out for her unborn children.  She adds, “My first initial is K and my middle name is Leigh, so we were thinking of Kaleigh.  And he’s Hank Baskett III, so of course I’m going to have a Hank Baskett IV!”

Image: Flickr

http://www.flickr.com/photos/31218424@N08/3024859113/

Article: People

http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20261887,00.html

Just days after going to the Oscars and being treated like royalty at Disneyland, Slumdog Millionaire star, Azharuddin Mohammed Ismail headed home to Mumbai.  He was tired from a long flight, but his father had other plans for him other than resting.

This jerk wanted to put his son on display “like a trophy”, but little Azharuddin wanted none of that.  He had already taken the day off of school so that he could recover from the flight.

When he refused, his father lashed out at him, reportedly kicking him and slapping him in the face.

The poor kid just wanted to rest and was sick of the constant attention.  I can’t blame the kid.  After a long flight from California, I’d be tired, too.

The father has since apologized for hitting his son, saying, “I am very sorry that I did what I did.  I was so confused and stressed by my son’s homecoming that I did not know myself for a minute.  I love my boy and I am very happy to have him home.”

I’m not sure what kind of laws they have over there regarding child abuse, but I think someone really needs to get this kid away from his dad. 

It’s a shame that he got away with it and it probably happens more than we’ll ever know about.

Image: Flickr / Article: The Sun

Octo-Grandma Angela Suleman is pretty sure her daughter is not going to be able to afford all 14 of her children.  She says that she’s not opposed to Nadya putting them up for adoption, if that is the case.

She says, “It’s very hard to say because they are my grandchildren.  Howeer, if I could know the future…if I could see that she would not be able to take care of them financially…I would opt for this.”

Currently, Nadya is unemployed, is living in a house that’s headed to foreclosure, and supports her first six children using food stamps and disability income.  Nice.  I think this woman should’ve been sterilized at birth.  She totally makes me sick. 

A lot of people in the world are struggling to take care of one kid that they can’t afford.  I can’t imagine living off of welfare with one kid, but doing it with 14 kids just screams mentally unstable to me.

Grandma continues, “I just hope she will be able to care for them, because she will never have them adopted.”  She also says that she’s put her own life on hold long enough and has decided to do some things for herself. 

She adds, “I’m ready to go visit Europe again and see my friends.  I love my grandchildren, but when she asks me, like tonight, can she go visit the other babies…I said no because I made plans already.  I need to change.  I can’t just live for my daughter, I have my own life.”

I say, if anyone were to make any donations for this family, they need to donate to Angela Suleman and her husband.  I feel for both of them.  It seems to me that she was doing most of the work, while Nadya opted to go through IVF to have eight more children.  Her father was also working in Iraq, so he wasn’t around to help with the kids.  I can’t imagine taking care of so many kids between just two people.  That’s just insane.

Someone hurry up and give Nadya a psych evaluation before she’s allowed to take those babies home.

Image: Flickr

http://www.flickr.com/photos/35702688@N04/3306616067/

Article: Us Magazine

http://www.usmagazine.com/news/octomom-grandmother-put-babies-up-for-adoption-if-cant-afford-2009262

And for this reason, I love Guy Ritchie and will go out and watch his next movie.

Apparently, Guy doesn’t cater to Madonna or think she’s the be all and end all in the world.  Matter of fact, he doesn’t really have a kind word to say about her.

He basically refers to her as “it”.  Love that.

A snitch close to Guy said, “Guy will say, ‘Oh, It’s in a bad mood today’.  Even towards the end of their marriage, he would call her It.  He told people, ‘We can’t make It angry.’  There is absolutely no love lost between them.”

He cracks me up.  He says what we’re thinking.  Because after so many plastic surgeries, we can barely recognize It anymore.  It is starting to look like a 20-year-old circus freak.

Image: Flickr / Article: The Sun

DMX was rumored to have thrown a full tray of food at a guard yesterday while serving his time at Tent City.

The rumors have found their way back to him, and he said “Y’all gon’ make me lose my mind”.  Okay, he didn’t really say that, but it’s funny. 

He actually is denying throwing the tray at the guard.

He says, “Many of you know me as DMX but right now I am speaking ot you as Earl Simmons.  Just a man trying to serve my time peacefully in order to put all this behind me so I can carry on with my normal life.”

He adds, “The truth of the matter is, in the eyes of many I am not just a normal man but rather a celebrity, which can be a blessing and a curse. Since I have begun to serve out my sentence, I have not been given any special treatment but it has actually been the opposite.  For the record, I want to state ‘I Did Not’ physically touch or hit an officer. This is just another attempt to destroy my credibility.”

Good for him.  I wouldn’t want to make waves and extend my sentence either.  He’s already in enough trouble, but the media doesn’t want to leave him alone already.

Image: Flickr / Article: Contact Music

My favorite female judge on American Idol, Paula Abdul, is looking for love again.

She split up with restaurant owner J.T. Torregiani last summer and says that she’s now ready to go back on the hunt for a new man.

She also adds that she doesn’t necessarily need that piece of paper to have a valid long-lasting relationship.

She says, “I tried marriage and it didn’t work too well for me, but I would very much like to find a soulmate.  I look at couples like Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell and see what I would like to have; a beautiful lasting relationship that doesn’t require a piece of paper.  I’d love to have children with that soulmate.  Adoption is definitely an option.”

Hey, I’ve got an idea!  Why don’t you offer to take a few of OctoMom’s kids.  There’s an idea!  Then we can pester Angelina Jolie to adopt a few of the others.  Drew Barrymore can adopt one so she’ll settle down a bit.  If I think hard enough I could get all of her 14 kids adopted out.

Image: Flickr / Article: Contact Music

If you’ll recall, Matt Dillon was busted for driving 106 mph in Vermont, last December.

He pleaded not guilty to the charges of careless and negligent operation, for driving more than 30 miles per hour over the posted speed limit.

Yesterday, his lawyer, Mark Kaplan, showed up at court on his behalf.  Dillon was then offered a plea deal, which usually involves pleading guilty to a lesser charge.

No word has been released as to whether or not he’s accepted the deal or not.

If he’s convicted of the charges, he could face up to a year in prison as well as a fine of $1,000.

Take the deal, Matt!  Why risk having your butt tossed in jail for a year?

Image: Flickr / Article: Contact Music

It was rumored that Paula Abdul was dissing on the new fourth American Idol judge, Kara DioGuardi. 

She allegedly said that American Idol didn’t need a fourth judge and that the show doesn’t work because it takes too long for all of them to give their comments.  I agreed with that sentiment, well, because I could do without Kara, myself.

Before the show aired yesterday, Paula said that her comments were taken out of context, saying, “I was actually referring specifically to the use of guest judges in seasons past, not Kara or this season.  I am thrilled to have her by my side each week on American Idol.”

I’m so sure.  Paula finally grows a backbone and has an opinion on something, but the producers probably told her to can it.

What do you think?  Are you a Kara fan or not?  I’m totally not, she’s a nastier female version of Simon, but at least he has that British accent.

Image: Flickr / Article: Us Magazine

Holly Madison was all lovey dovey about being so much in love with magician Criss Angel that she left the comfort of the Playboy mansion to be with him.  She even moved to Vegas to be closer to Criss.

Apparently, this arrangement isn’t working out for the former head bunny, so she broke it off with Criss.

The couple’s rep confirmed the news, saying, “Criss and Holly are no longer a couple.  They remain very close friends and wish each other the very best.”

It was also said that Holly wanted to move back to L.A. to further her career.

All typical excuses, but I still have to wonder what the actual culprit was.  I’ve never left a guy due to my career, or vice versa.

Anyways, I really didn’t care for Criss, so it’s no big loss.  What’s a former bunny to do now?  Maybe she could move in with a sorority and become a house mother?  Oh wait….

Image: Flickr / Article: People

Star Magazine is reporting that Rihanna was hiding a secret pregnancy when Chris Brown beat the crap out of her.

They’re reporting that just days before Chris beat her up, Rihanna was seen at an OB/GYN’s office at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center. 

She had reportedly confided in friends that she thought she was pregnant by Chris.

A spy at the doctor’s office says, “She was extremely fidgety.  She seemed totally uncomfortable.”

An insider says, “She was scared he would react badly.”

Apparently she didn’t get the chance to share the news with him because they got into a fight that left Rihanna beaten and bruised.

Let’s hope that she wasn’t actually pregnant by him.  That’d be awful to bring a baby into this world by a violent man like him.

And if you notice the caption says, “WAS Rihanna pregnant?”  What do they mean “was”?  Did he beat her so bad that she had a miscarriage, that is, if she was pregnant in the first place.

Image & Article: Star

I haven’t seen “Slumdog Millionaire” yet, but I’ve heard really good things about it.

There has been some bad things, too, but not necessarily about the movie itself. 

It was said that the kids from the slums who acted in the movie were returned to their slums after the movie was finished wrapping.  They were paid very meager salaries and didn’t enjoy any of the perks of being involved with the Oscar winning movie.

Now, Indian officials are jumping in, just as the film makers had gotten done making an offer to provide the children with housing.

Local housing association chairman Amarjeet Singh Manhas says, “Since the children have made the nation proud, they must be given free houses.”

It’s about time.  It’s an outrage that the two kids who played the younger versions of the main stars of the movies have to live in squalor while the Hollywood fat cats are getting rich from the movie.

They more recently attended the Oscars and even went to DisneyLand, but that’s all just a facade since they had to go back to living in the conditions they were in.

Image: Flickr / Article: BBC

Contrary to what you may have heard, American Idol bad boy Simon Cowell says he does not want his body frozen after his death.

He says that he was just joking when he was talking about being brought back to life to torment future singers.

It was reported that he said that he planned to have his body preserved in liquid nitrogen in the hopes that scientists would find a way to bring him back to life.

He says, “I have decided to freeze myself when I die.  You know, cryonics.  You pay a lot of money and you get stuck in a deep freeze once you’ve been declared dead.  Medical science is bound to work out a way of bringing us back to life in the next century or so, and I want to be available when they do.  I would be doing the nation an invaluable service.

His mouthpiece probably thought that the media would be wise enough to know that he was joking, but has said just that, for good measure.

Image: Flickr / Article: Contact Music

It’s no secret that everyone is up in arms over Chris Brown beating the crap out of Rihanna.  Chris has been losing endorsement deal after deal and rightfully so.  

It’s now being said that Chris’ image is being erased from all of the marketing material in his new movie, “Bone Deep”.

The movie is set to be released in January 2010, but don’t expect to see Chris’ mug on the movie poster anytime soon.  Rapper T.I. is also in the flick and is expected to be the main attraction.  The movie also starts Paul Walker and Hayden Christensen. 

Chris’ image is expected to be erased from the movie poster, trailer, and TV ads, so that the movie bosses can avoid any controversy.

Image: Flickr / Article: Woooha

In case you missed it, Lindsay Lohan’s father, Michael had a blog online that was shut down due to lack of payments.

I screen capped this for you, just in case he resurfaced to do anything stupid.

Here you can see the webmaster noted that Michael Lohan is a freakin’ bum.  Okay, he didn’t really say that exactly, but basically it was closed due to failure of payment.

In case you were wondering where Mike would run to spew his nonsense, fear not.  He has jumped on the Twitter bandwagon.  You can follow his crap here.

Enjoy!

Love,

The Tragicomical Writer

Chris Brown is reportedly afraid for his life.  After beating the crap out of his girlfriend Rihanna, right before the Grammys.

He is surrounded by bodyguards that he’s hired to protect him. 

An insider says, “Chris is scared.  Not only did he probably lose his career and his girlfriend, but he’s also fearing for his security and his life.”

And rightfully so, too.  All of the media reports were flying about what he did to her, but it really hit home when we were all able to see the actual photo of her face.

A music insider says, “Chris is a marked man.  He faces criminal charges and possible jail time, but he’s going to have to deal with Rihanna’s legion of fans and her close-knot friends in the industry.”  The insider also commented on the release of the photo that shocked everyone.  He adds, “That photo was the last straw.  The threats started pouring in the moment that appeared online.”

Image: Flickr / Article: In Touch Weekly

Eighties singer Debbie Gibson (Deborah, as she prefers to be called) says that she’s not a victim of the current economic crisis.

It was reported by that fat guy that Debbie was having trouble and that her home was possibly in foreclosure.

Her publicist has since released a statement saying that Deb was simply moving out of her house and moving in with her boyfriend Rutledge Taylor.

Her rep says, “Much to the chagrin of media everywhere, Deborah is simply moving in with her boyfriend of the last year.  As we all know, this is the right time to sell.”

Now I have a problem with this statement.  She says, “Much to the chagrin of media ‘everywhere’.”  Really?  Everywhere?  People really care about the housing situation of a former eighties star everywhere?  I mean, besides me.

Image: Flickr / Article: Contact Music