Tragicomical

Robert Pattinson made a huge splash onto the big screen as vampire Edward Cullen in the movie, Twilight.  Now, after it’s settling down some, he says that he’s really not looking forward to the sequel.

Why would someone not look forward to making gazillions more dollars and being the center of all of the girls’ attention? 

His answer?  Contact lenses.

He says, “Wearing colored contact lenses.  It was like I constantly had sand in my eyes.  I was wearing them for three months constantly and my eyes never ever accepted them!  It took me 20 minutes per eye every single day and I ended up having to literally fold it into my eyeball.”

He said that the lenses also affected his acting skills:

He adds, “It was frustrating as well because normally your eyes are saying something, but if you’ve got two orange blobs in your face it’s so annoying!  The director would say, ‘Look at her like you love her,’ and I’d be like, ‘I’m trying!’ I’m going to have to do it again because we’re making the sequel next year.”

Image: Flickr / Article: Contact Music

Queen Latifah was robbed of over $10,000 worth of jewelry while staying in a villa in Tobago.

The police there believe it’s an inside job and someone at the hotel was at fault for the robbery.  They are investigating the theft and have said that she may even offer a reward for the sentimental pieces of jewelry if they’re returned before the end of her vacation.

I wouldn’t reward crap.  Forget that.  I’d be like, REWARD OFFERED! and then when the culprit comes forth to collect, it’s BOOK ‘EM DANO! 

Who’s with me?

Police Commissioner James Philbert said, “Several searches are being carried out and the police are trying to have the jewelry returned to Queen Latifah.  Investigators said the larceny seems to be an inside job and efforts are being made round the clock to make a breakthrough.

It sucks that all of the bad stuff is happening to seemingly good peope.

Image: Flickr / Article: Us Magazine

Matt Dillon was pulled over by state troopers for speeding last night.

He was arrested after he was caught doing 106 mph in a 65 mph zone.  He was going down Interstate 91 in Vermont. 

He’s due in court in January to face the speeding charge. 

At least he didn’t get popped for a DUI like someone else we know!

Cough, cough, Doug Wilson.

No worries for Matt, though, he’s got plenty of work lined up for the coming year, so he can afford the ticket.

Image: Flickr / Article: Contact Music

Well it didn’t take long for Australians to get sick of Paris Hilton!

She was there to ring in the New Year at Bondi Beach, where she was followed around like a puppy by her supposed BFF Brittany Flickinger as well as a bodyguard. 

Everyone gathered around Paris and she was the center of everyone’s attention. 

The bodyguard handled the madness, but it didn’t stop people who don’t care for the heiress from throwing sand at her face.

They must still be ticked off that she’s spending enough there to feed small third world villages.

Image: Flickr / Article: AU News

Trading Spaces designer Doug Wilson was popped for DUI Monday night.

Doug was pulled over Monday night at around 1 a.m. by Decatur, Illinois Police.  He reportedly failed to yield to an emergency vehicle. 

The police pulled him over and arrested him for aggravated DUI, driving on a suspended license, failing to yield the right-of-way to an emergency vehicle, and illegal transportation of alcohol.

Cue the Liar Liar movie where Jim Carrey says, “AND SPEEDING!”  Just kidding.  That’s about the only thing Doug wasn’t doing.

Doug was arrested and subsequently released on $1,000 bond.

Guess he wasn’t able to flash the celebrity card even in his own home state.

Image & Article: TMZ

Being that Heath Ledger passed away from an accidental overdose of prescription drugs in the highlight of his career, you’d think that someone would have the courtesy not to try and tarnish his good name.  Not so.

According to a witness at the Improv in Hollywood on December 16th, a comic was on stage taking a jab at Heath.

The comic said, “Here’s my impression of Heath Ledger”, then collapsed on the floor and faked convulsions. 

Apparently, Robert Pattinson wasn’t impressed at all.  He booed the comedian and said, “F**k you! You suck!”  The source said, “Robert and his friend went nuts yelling at him.”

Good on him.  It’s a shame that Heath is gone and that we won’t be able to see him in any movies anymore.  It’s a shame that he left a daughter behind that will never truly know her father.  So whoever that comedian was, suck it jerk!

Image: Flickr / Article: Us Magazine

With Angelina Jolie having so much trouble with her pregnancy with the twins, doctors have apparently warned her not to have any more naturally.

An insider says, “Her previous pregnancies ended with emergency caesarian sections.  She’s been told that, at the least, she should not get pregnant for a year after her last delivery, and it would be safer if she did not get pregnant, ever.”

A doctor has said that health complications could pose a danger to Angie and that she might be at risk for a stroke or a heart attack.

Angelina has said that being pregnant, so this might be a problem for her.  I hope that, for her sake, the doctors are wrong.  She does love having her babies.

Image: Flickr / Article: Sawf

In an interview that she gave to Elle magazine, Beyonce was talking about how she grew up with an upper class family and had nice things.  Then she went where she shouldn’t have….she put down the Jackson family.

She says, “I grew up upper-class. Private school. My dad had a Jaguar. We’re African-American and we work together as a family, so people assume we’re like the Jacksons. But I didn’t have parents using me to get out of a bad situation.”

Snap!

We’ve heard that Janet Jackson is now ready to confront Beyonce for the unkind words and that she wants to demand an apology.

That’s just wrong to say that they used their children to get out of a bad situation.  You don’t put other talented singers down because of the way they were raised.  Shame on Bey!

Image: Flickr  / Article: Elle

Danica Patrick is a race car driver and boy, is she fast! 

At least that’s probably what the officer was thinking when he pulled her over for speeding.

I mean, what do you say to Danica Patrick when you pull her over for speeding?  I wonder what the cop was thinking. 

Should I really ticket this chick or ask for an autograph?

It was reported that she was busted earlier this month in Arizona for going 54 mph in a 35 mph zone. 

She was ticketed and is due in court at the beginning of next month.

She wouldn’t be having this problem if her last name was Kardashian or Hilton.

Image: Flickr / Article: Us Magazine

Zooey Deschanel is engaged!

Death Cab For Cutie frontman Ben Gibbard asked Zooey to marry him and she said yes.

The couple are indie performers in the band, Postal Service.  She also fronts the group, She & Him.

It was previously reported that she was engaged to Hunter Burgan, but was quickly updated when the truth was revealed.

A source said, “She is so excited.”

Image: Flickr / Article: People

If you don’t know who Chyler Leigh is, she’s the girl who plays Lexie on Grey’s Anatomy.  She’s plays Merideth’s half-sister.

Her rep says, “They are absolutely thrilled and looking forward to the new addition to their young family.”

Chyler and husband Nathan West already have two children together.

In regard to Lexie’s storyline on the show, they’ve said that they’re not writing her real life pregnancy into the storyline.  So, we can all expect to see Chyler’s above-the-tummy shots in the coming episodes of the show.

I’m still going to watch it, I love the show and can’t get enough.  I hadn’t been watching that much recently, but it’s one of my New Year’s resolutions to keep up with this show and a few more.  I hope her and George get together.  If they have already, don’t tell me :)

Image: Flickr / Article: People<!– jump –>

I would love it if these two were actually a real couple, let’s hope the rumors are true.

Drew Barrymore and Jason Segel have reportedly spent another night out together.  This time, they spent their date doing karaoke at the Brass Monkey Bar.

A source says, “Drew and Jason were obviously dating because they were kissing and touching each other throughout the night.”

A club performer says that just the opposite is true and that they’re just friends.  Another source says that they’re friends with a little benefits and it’s not serious.

His rep says, “They are friends, simply.”

I think they should totally work on a movie together.  How cute would that be?

Image & Article; Us Magazine

I don’t know if I can really believe that Oprah Winfrey is really that dumb or just that rich. 

A source says that the TV talk show queen actually drives to the same gas station all of the time and tips the attendant a cool $100 for a fill-up.

But she tried to do it herself once (we are in a recession, you know) and couldn’t find the tank.

The source says, “She has gone to the 76 station for years.  She usually tips the serviceman $100 to fill her up.  She had to be shown how to use the pump too.”

DUMB!

I find it hard to believe that at 54-years-old, she had to be taught how to pump gas.  She just might be that rich, but good lord.  No one needs that kind of wealth.

Image: MSNBC / Article: Star

Star is reporting that Tara Reid is getting her stay at the expensive rehab resort, Promises comp’d for the exposure.

Britney Spears made Promises famous when she stayed there for her drug addiction.  Lindsay Lohan also had a stint at the rehab center.

A source says that due to the crappy economy, the powers that be at Promises were seeking someone from Hollywood to drum up the publicity. 

A room there costs $1,600 a night and Tara is reportedly getting the star treatment. 

Hopefully it’ll be just what the doctor ordered for her to not be known as the party girl anymore.

Image: Flickr / Article: Star Magazine

Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony are apparently splitting up after Valentine’s Day, according to sources. 

The couple had twins Max and Emme earlier this year and had recently renewed their wedding vows, but an insider says their relationship is really kaput.

The source says, “Marc and Jennifer are planning on announcing their divorce right after Marc’s show at Madison Square Garden on February 14th.  Jennifer is planning on joining Marc onstage for a surprise duet.  Things haven’t been right for a while now, and they thought it would be a bittersweet farewell.”

This sort of stuff was rumored about Madonna and Guy Ritchie for the longest time.  Every time, they denied it and denied it, but look at what happened. 

Are you buying it?

Image: Flickr / Article: NYDailyNews

Miley Cyrus is such a pain in the butt. 

She makes gazillions of dollars and dates a really hot underwear model.  At only 16, she gets $100 a week to blow on whatever she wants.  But that’s just not enough, nope.

She is reportedly demanding a raise from her parents, ten times over.  She wants $1,000 a week instead of the paltry $100 that she’s used to.

At 16, what does she really have to buy?  She affords herself gas for her PORSCHE, magazines, and coffee, but it’s not enough.  The only thing that has changed in this equation, besides her age, is Justin Gaston.

Maybe he thinks her money would be better spent on him and their dates?

Image: Flickr / Article: Star Magazine