Tragicomical

The National Enquirer is reporting that Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgens are thinking about moving in together. After two years of dating, they’ve decided to take the next step in their relationship. All of this was decided when they took their vacation together recently.

They say that Vanessa started house hunting as soon as they got back and they were advised by an inside source that Vanessa was looking at a “cozy four-bedroom three-bath Spanish-style house in the Hollywood Hills.”

How quaint.

Maybe they could move next to that other annoying couple, Heidi Montag and Spencer Pratt?

Every time I think of Joe Francis, this picture comes to mind. He’s laughing at us, yo. He’s laughing all the way to the bank.

There was a girl who was 16-years-old in 2002, who alleged that she dropped her top for GGW, and then sued Joe, but now she has dropped her lawsuit.

Figures. For once, I’d really like to see someone stick it to this guy.

TMZ says, “A girl who said she dropped her top for Joe Francis’ cameras when she was just 16 has dropped something else for Joe too — a lawsuit.

The “GGW” founder has settled a lawsuit filed in Panama City, Fla. — not with a payout, says his lawyer, but by dropping a countersuit against the woman. The unnamed chick had alleged she was underage when she flashed for Joe in 2002.

Darn it.

Alex Rodriguez has finally gotten around to responding to his wife’s petition for divorce, where she basically outed him for being a cheater and abandoning her.

She’s asking to keep the $12 million Coral Gables home that they shared and a cut of his income from the time they’ve been married. He says that her divorce settlement should be determined by the prenup that she freely signed.

He wants shared parenting for their children and wants the writ to state that they have co-residences. He says that he knows he has to pay child support and asks the court to determine a reasonable amount.

Sounds fair.

The attorney representing Britney Spears says that they won’t pursue extending the restraining order against Sam Lutfi. The reason behind that is, they’re saying that Britney doesn’t want anything to do with him anymore. I mean, why not have a controlling user around? Right?

Her mouthpiece, Samuel Ingham III, says, “Britney has made clear to everyone,” Ingham said, “that she does not want to be further harassed or contacted in any way by Osama ‘Sam’ Lutfi, now or at anytime in the future.”

Jessica Simpson is on the cover of the September issue of Elle magazine dressed up like a cowgirl. Like everyone’s going to forget that she used to be a pop star. She has said that she was conforming to her boyfriends, and this just happens to be a good example of that.

Jess, go back to your roots already. This country crap is for the birds.

According to TMZ, it’s just been announced that Britney Spears’ conservatorship will not be ending tomorrow, as previously thought.

Lawyers will go into the court for the conservators tomorrow to announce their intentions. TMZ sez, their intentions are to ask the court to extend the conservatorship until the fall.

Mitch Winehouse thinks someone spiked Amy’s drink recently and is filing a complaint with the police in London so they have a record of it.

Amy was taken to the hospital on Monday in kind of a rush, and later, we found that it was caused by some Ecstasy in her system. The funny part is, Mitch doesn’t think Amy took the crap on her own accord.

She’d be my first suspect.

A guy who claims to live a few blocks away from the site where Shia LaBeouf got into that crash and flipped his truck, is trying to make some money off of the incident.

He has listed broken glass and whatnot on eBay for sale. The auction was originally for three days and had gone up to $550, but has since been relisted here. It has been changed to a full seven days.

I’m a fan of Shia’s work, but not a big enough fan to actually bid on this crap. Are you?

This little surfer guy is just so freakin’ cute. Don’t you just wanna pinch his cheeks?

I mean, I really wanted to say something nice about David Duchovny, cuz I’ve seen all of his ads for Californication and man, was he hot. But this time, when I gazed at his picture, all I could notice was his gigantor forehead. It will attack!